Old Shoes, New Shoes

There is just something about your favorite shoes. You know. They are worn out, and tired looking. They have walked many miles. Through the dirt, mud and snow. They have been comfortable and your go to. I love my old shoes.

I remember as a kid when I got new shoes. I was so excited to tell my friends. Look I can run faster, I can climb higher. There is just something about new shoes isn’t there? As I got older your shoes defined you. I had Converse All Stars, moccasins and a boot that my friends and I called elephant stompers. I can’t remember why we called them that lol.

My own kids had such a variety. Dress shoes, PE shoes, snow boots, (moon boots, do they still make those even?), and flip flops. But I remember getting new shoes and they had to be broken in. I used to wear my cons and soak them in as hot of water as I could stand. I have no idea why but I did.

My walk is like that too. When I was first saved I would say look what he has done. I’m happier, I know he loves me. I can do anything. My hope is in Christ. He is my new shoe. He is why I can press on. But somewhere along the way I became complacent. Oh I think it comes and goes.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my old shoes. I think it’s time to get rid of them. I used to say they smelled like cinnamon. It was my way of being comfortable in them. But they are falling apart. They are not as useful as they once were. They don’t keep out the wet weather. They don’t protect my feet like they once did.

Christ tells us in him we are a new creation.
2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Sometimes we have to get out of our comfortable shoes (spaces) into the new life Christ has called us to. Let me be honest, the old shoes are great. They are broke in. They are comfortable yet they now stink. It’s time to move towards Christ. The author and finisher of my faith. The one who I can be comfortable with and in. But no I can’t do this alone.

I need Christ to break the shoes in for me. To make them bearable. To show me his mercies are new every morning. To remind me of the hope I have in him. To help me find the right shoes. The ones that are uniquely mine. I can’t live in the past. But I am also forgiven and under no condemnation in Christ. His mercies are new every morning. When I repent, ask for forgiveness he can give me that peace and joy that I am comfortable in him with.

Thank you Lord that in you I’m forgiven and free. In you my life can be like the new shoes. Uncomfortable at first but nothing you can’t help me become comfortable in you in. Here is to new shoes and new mercies in Christ!

New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

He Counts My Tears

I am a child of God. I’ve been redeemed. I’m not perfect but I follow the one who is. My life is one that has many imperfections and so many flaws. I struggle, I cry, I get down. But I also laugh, smile and see the good.

Who I am in Christ though it’s where I am. My life is mine to live and chose or not. Everyday I get up, I must make choices. To get up or not, to eat or not, to trust or not.

Today I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Trusting. Do I trust Christ with everything? Do I trust him in the dark places as well as when it’s easier? I’ve had people tell me it’s easy to trust in the mountaintops. Others who say it’s in the valleys where you learn to trust.

Guess what it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a choice. When things are going well I throw my prayers out and say I trust you and I go on. When I’m in the valleys I cry out to the Lord. Oh Lord I need you.

Well today it’s a choice. I want my words to be meaningful no matter if it’s a mountain or valley I’m in. I’ve prayed you know and I’ve been careless or careful with my prayers. I want to be bold. I want to be sincere. I want to pray for not just my own life, or those close to me but to whomever God brings to my mind.

My oldest granddaughter and I have been praying every morning on the way to school. We pray for her day, my day and our family. We pray for some very dear friends (let’s be honest, they are our family). They are grafted in our tree. Because our tree is the Tree of Life, Christ. We pray for other friends, teachers, and things that come up.

Prayer is changing my heart. It’s giving me a sense of direction. Do I still struggle? Yes everyday, every hour and even sometimes minute to minute. I’m going through something very hard and personal right now.

But in the morning I seek his face through my prayers and my words. During the day I find myself praying more and more. Lifting things to my Saviour  and Friend, Jesus. At night I get to pray with said sister. Those prayers... well I’m reminded of these scriptures;

Psalm 56:8-11

8 You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You,
Then my enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word),
In the Lord (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust;
I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

*New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

I’ve been working on this picture. Oh I know it’s not perfect but it is mine.

Pray for me. If you need prayer message me. I’m willing to pray for you. God Bless And Keep You Today.  Much Love
~ Dawn

Chugwater ~

Family Adventure ~

Finally on our way. Heading through Wyoming. We stop in Chugwater. Chugwater is famous for their chili. But since we started so late we are going to eat breakfast/lunch. Stop at The Chugwater Soda Fountain. It’s in the heart of this small town. We have never been through here only the outskirts of town.

At the rest stop the kids found some Casper Rocks. For those of you not familiar with them they were originally a way to spread kindness. Leaving an inspirational message and if you find one take a picture and rehide it. By the way this rest stop is one of the nicest ones I’ve ever been to. 

I ordered ham and cheese, the kids ordered grilled cheese and Tay had breakfast smothered burrito with chili. I actually tried the chili it was tasty. We ordered the shakes. Wow so good! This was a fun stop over. Here are some of the pictures from our stop in Chugwater, Wyoming. 

It’s early and we get in and head out. Lots of open road to travel through today. Because we are behind I google to find the fastest route and it changes our original route. Now we are headed through Nebraska ... 

Let God direct your steps. 

Proverbs 16:9 

A man’s heart plans his way, 

But the Lord directs his steps.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

My Bags Are Packed

The next stage of our Family Adventure was waiting on certain things to fall into place. Number one was A ~ A car, B ~ A great price for a rental or C ~ A loaner car..

We had looked and looked, prayed and prayed, found several and they all fell through. About 2 weeks before we were to go.. my friends found a minivan that exceeded all we thought.

Bought the minivan. The kids are loving it. It’s got a DVD player, it’s got leather seats, it’s nice. Plenty of room. The ideal traveling vehicle.

Let me tell you, I believe in the power of Prayer. We had several friends pray. We had a few doubters who questioned if we should travel. But at the end of the day my (our) God provided. One more thing to check off our list.

Matthew 10:29 - 31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

A, B, or C

The next stage of our Family Adventure was waiting on certain things to fall into place. Number one was A ~ A car, B ~ A great price for a rental or C ~ A loaner car..

We had looked and looked, prayed and prayed, found several and they all fell through. About 2 weeks before we were to go.. my friends found a minivan that exceeded all we thought.

Bought the minivan. The kids are loving it. It’s got a DVD player, it’s got leather seats, it’s nice. Plenty of room. The ideal traveling vehicle.

Let me tell you, I believe in the power of Prayer. We had several friends pray. We had a few doubters who questioned if we should travel. But at the end of the day my (our) God provided. One more thing to check off our list.

Matthew 10:29 - 31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Pre-planning

Pre-Planning of our Family Adventure ~

Awhile back I met an amazing family on Facebook. My grands and I have been so blessed by them. We began talking about going to travel to see them.

So we started saving, and talking it up. Doing morning selfies to send and a calendar once we hit about a month out. The calendar was a very visual reminder that we were leaving. Also since my grandson is autistic we wanted to help him.

This was to be the farthest they have ever been from home and traveling by car or rather minivan. So we started planning. And list making and more list making. The kids tried to pack so many things. I think we packed and repacked to many times.

Can I just tell you how much God is the God of miracles? Well he is. He sees and knows what you need and don’t need.

1 Peter 3:12
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

I love that he is open to our prayers.

That Day

It's been more than a few months since "that day". You know the day when I finally had enough. The day I said I will no longer let you control my life again. The day I said just because we have the same parents doesn't mean my life is like yours. That day I finally said...enough is enough.

That day started out like any other. I've relived that day many times. As a child I was to timid, to concerned to rock the boat. I was to worried that I was being mean. I had fear. Fear that you (none of you) would love me. I was the good girl. That good girl who didn't want to disappoint any of you.

So I took the abuses you heaped on me. I lived with a cloud over every part of me. I didn't know who I was. I was so warped that I didn't know I could be someone. I was wounded. I was the abused dog who didn't think that anyone approaching was going to be nice. In fact I knew it would be another kick or another hit.

I vowed that my kids would never know that fear, or that sense of not being loved or belonging. I vowed that I would let them say they didn't like someone. I vowed that they could be strong. Stronger than me. I frequently spent hours, days, weeks, and years figuring things to do for you all so you would finally love me. To accept me.

I tried helping you and your children. I gave up my life to take in some of your kids. That was over 20 years ago. No I don't regret it. You know I understood what not feeling love was about. Because of that I couldn't allow these kids that feeling. I've had to cut some out of my life. And you know what? I'm okay with it.

I finally said enough is enough and I walked away from all of it. Even though I had walked away many times, I always left the door open a crack, I always anticipated that you would come thru the door because we shared a history. I thought one day they will say they miss me. But you didn't.

So the last straw came. I closed the door. My own daughters asked me if I would let you in. They said you can't keep it shut because your not ready. You will miss them, it will be hard because you played a role in their lives for a very long time. They were almost right.

I talked myself in to the maybe ..however I didn't do it. I shut the door. I locked it. I said it's time. There is nothing wrong with taking care of you. And there isn't. I hear the lies and I see the carnage of what your life is. I'm not going to be a part of that anymore. I won't let you wear me down. I refuse to allow the darkness of your lives to burn out the light that is who I am.

I haven't looked back and I haven't allowed the hurt to overtake me again. I'm ok. I really am ok. I'm free to be me. Free to be who I am meant to be and I don't have to feel shame or sorrow about that. There is power in being able to shut a door and open a window. There is freedom to be able to know that it's ok. That I'm not wrong to do that now.

Yep I see the train wreck and I'm at the sign watching and waiting for the safety of the poles to lift and the lights to stop flashing allowing me to continue on in my journey. My joy comes in the morning. My life is so complete in the one who created me. I have a life that is free from the drama of my past.