New Family Member ~ Ruth!

My Newest Family Member! 

Well I went and did it. I bought a bird. Now I don't know why nor do I have any idea about what all it will mean for my life now, but I did do it. 

This is a huge step for me. You see I don't care for animals. Maybe that's mean or maybe you will not want to read anymore but truth be told I really don't care for them. They are dirty, smelly, and die.

I believe this comes from my childhood. We always had animals I think. But the ones we had I watched get hurt, or die. Not necessarily from natural causes. So there you have it. I do not care for animals.

Now when I started thinking about my life and something I did not instill in my children was a love for animals. You see I didn't not do it I just said nothing. Of course we have had a few animals. Rabbits, cats, and even a wonderful dog named Buddy. Who by the way I loved but didn't care for. I know that sounds odd.

When I was a kid I had a bunny named Bugs. I loved that bunny. I cared for that bunny. I loved feeding it carrots and petting her. One day when I came home from school, during a very hard time in my family life my rabbit was dead. I think it closed a part of me off. I decided then and there that I would not allow myself to get close to an animal ever again. And I have not. 

My life is like that. I close myself off from the pain. It's easier then letting it take hold of me or letting it get to me. I believe in my heart that my father killed that bunny. That is perhaps why I closed the door to pets. 

A few years ago I was thinking about getting fish, you know they just swim in a tank and don't talk and don't really open you up to any real communication at least I see it that way. But in the end I decided not to get them.