JOY Comes In The Morning

Psalms 30:5 (New King James Version) reads;

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

My last blog I wrote about having a hard time sleeping. That is true for me. I do have a hard time sleeping. There have been many times when I struggle with maybe its something I could have changed, or done better. Was I a good enough daughter? Did I love my parents enough? I knew scripture growing up and it was something I used to get me thru hard times, but it also sometimes made me think I would never be enough. From my view as a child, and one who had many sorrows I wondered if I was good enough, happy enough, obedient enough, loving enough.. and the list goes on and on. 

When the nights were long and lonely, and I was afraid of my life, of what I would do or who I would become.. I would ponder things I learned in that Lutheran Church, and later the Nazarene Church. I often wondered if I would ever be happy, or if my life would never have a sense of enough. Of feeling full. Full in the Lord perhaps .. or accepted within my own family. The older I get the more I know that you can never be enough. You can have enough but you alone will never be enough. You are not made to be enough. We are not complete unless we have Jesus to make us that way. 

This first part of this scripture I held on to because I related to my father being angry a lot. His anger was not for a moment but since its all I knew its the only way I was able to relate to a father. The second part where it says his favor is for life well I didn't know if I would ever be able to find his favor in his eyes. I tried, but no matter what I did it was not enough. I wasn't good enough at anything. The gifts I thought I had he didn't think were anything and so I doubted everything and everyone in my life. I couldn't trust anyone. It was dark for me. Dark knowing that I wasn't ever enough. Knowing I could never find his favor. 

The second part is more important to me because I could make it in the dark of night. Weeping endures for a night, (yes it did and still does). But after the night comes the newness of the morning. A chance to see new things. To find love and life in a new day. This is what I want for my family and friends. The knowing fact that although we may weep in the night (or a short time), JOY will come in the morning. It will come. I have learned that JOY isn't about putting on a smile and faking it until you make it. It's about a JOY in you. One that says there is hope .. there is a reality that the bigger picture is My Father God will find favor for life in me. I am not to a point where I fully grasp that. I am at a point where I know its true though.

So may you find favor in the life we have in Christ, may you know that while there is weeping JOY will come. God Bless You as you seek him and find a Father who loves you so much he gave you his Son...