Trust

Psalm 23
1. The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. 2. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. 4. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. 6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of Lord Forever.

Trust ~ Trust means that you believe that a person will treat you well. Trust is most easily measured by risk-acceptance. ... If I trust someone, it means I'm willing to deliberately put myself in a situation where that person could hurt me by doing the "wrong" thing.

This last year I dealt with some hard things from my past. I trusted someone who said they would always be there. Someone who I allowed to get very close to me. To walk through some of the things I had not let go of. I allowed myself to trust to much. To believe that person would be there. I shared a lot. I cried a lot. I let myself feel hard things thinking that person was walking beside me.

I know this person was in my life for a reason,  and I’m glad that I was able to deal with some past pain. But you know I see now that I allowed this person to take over a role (maybe out of my own desperation and my own feelings of a desire to have something I’ve never felt I had), that was and is Christ’s alone.

I’ve been incredibly hurt. I thought this person truly got me, loved me and accepted me. That no matter how hard it got or the mistakes I would make they would stand with me and cover me in love and prayer. That didn’t happen. Instead what happened is I had a meltdown, I said things I wasn’t proud of. I reacted to a situation that I shouldn’t have. And when the dust settled they were gone. Not there like was said.

I should’ve stepped back. I should’ve waited on Christ alone to make the crooked path straight. This has been a very hard thing. The difficulty is far reaching. The hurt and sadness causing crippling deep wounds that will be a scar in the quilt of my life forever.

But it won’t destroy me. It will be a time I will forever be reminded of the roles of others. That yes they are here but Christ is the one we must place our full TRUST in, not others. We must see where Christ’s Grace and Love extends. We must decrease for Christ to increase. We must trust to grow. Trust in Christ for he never fails us.

No matter what happens from here on, I will turn to the author and finisher of my Faith in Confidence and Trust with Grace and Truth.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Twists and turns

Sharing from my business page

As we leave 2018 and head into the New Year of 2019, I’d like to share a few thoughts..

Life is filled with turns, twists, bumps and cracks but it still leads you somewhere ~ 

GG (Gma’s Gem’s) aka me

I’ve met some amazing new customers who have become friends. I’ve met some inspiring networking connections who have become friends. I’ve found friends from my past and I’m sure to find friends in my future. 

A few years ago I’d read about picking a word instead of a New Years Resolution. To be honest I never did commit to resolutions. I never even tried. But I did and do like the idea of a word. This year my word will be confidence. I hope 2019 finds you filled with confidence, joy, hope, peace, kindness or compassion or anything that might stretch you on your journey. 

Hebrews 12:2 

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Happy New Year from Tay and I here at Gma's Gem's. Looking forward to the New Year. Do you have a word or New Year’s Resolution? Where are you headed? I know I’m headed towards my God, my savior, the author and finisher of my faith. 

 Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. 

Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Old Shoes, New Shoes

There is just something about your favorite shoes. You know. They are worn out, and tired looking. They have walked many miles. Through the dirt, mud and snow. They have been comfortable and your go to. I love my old shoes.

I remember as a kid when I got new shoes. I was so excited to tell my friends. Look I can run faster, I can climb higher. There is just something about new shoes isn’t there? As I got older your shoes defined you. I had Converse All Stars, moccasins and a boot that my friends and I called elephant stompers. I can’t remember why we called them that lol.

My own kids had such a variety. Dress shoes, PE shoes, snow boots, (moon boots, do they still make those even?), and flip flops. But I remember getting new shoes and they had to be broken in. I used to wear my cons and soak them in as hot of water as I could stand. I have no idea why but I did.

My walk is like that too. When I was first saved I would say look what he has done. I’m happier, I know he loves me. I can do anything. My hope is in Christ. He is my new shoe. He is why I can press on. But somewhere along the way I became complacent. Oh I think it comes and goes.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my old shoes. I think it’s time to get rid of them. I used to say they smelled like cinnamon. It was my way of being comfortable in them. But they are falling apart. They are not as useful as they once were. They don’t keep out the wet weather. They don’t protect my feet like they once did.

Christ tells us in him we are a new creation.
2 Corinthians 5:17

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Sometimes we have to get out of our comfortable shoes (spaces) into the new life Christ has called us to. Let me be honest, the old shoes are great. They are broke in. They are comfortable yet they now stink. It’s time to move towards Christ. The author and finisher of my faith. The one who I can be comfortable with and in. But no I can’t do this alone.

I need Christ to break the shoes in for me. To make them bearable. To show me his mercies are new every morning. To remind me of the hope I have in him. To help me find the right shoes. The ones that are uniquely mine. I can’t live in the past. But I am also forgiven and under no condemnation in Christ. His mercies are new every morning. When I repent, ask for forgiveness he can give me that peace and joy that I am comfortable in him with.

Thank you Lord that in you I’m forgiven and free. In you my life can be like the new shoes. Uncomfortable at first but nothing you can’t help me become comfortable in you in. Here is to new shoes and new mercies in Christ!

New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

He Counts My Tears

I am a child of God. I’ve been redeemed. I’m not perfect but I follow the one who is. My life is one that has many imperfections and so many flaws. I struggle, I cry, I get down. But I also laugh, smile and see the good.

Who I am in Christ though it’s where I am. My life is mine to live and chose or not. Everyday I get up, I must make choices. To get up or not, to eat or not, to trust or not.

Today I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Trusting. Do I trust Christ with everything? Do I trust him in the dark places as well as when it’s easier? I’ve had people tell me it’s easy to trust in the mountaintops. Others who say it’s in the valleys where you learn to trust.

Guess what it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a choice. When things are going well I throw my prayers out and say I trust you and I go on. When I’m in the valleys I cry out to the Lord. Oh Lord I need you.

Well today it’s a choice. I want my words to be meaningful no matter if it’s a mountain or valley I’m in. I’ve prayed you know and I’ve been careless or careful with my prayers. I want to be bold. I want to be sincere. I want to pray for not just my own life, or those close to me but to whomever God brings to my mind.

My oldest granddaughter and I have been praying every morning on the way to school. We pray for her day, my day and our family. We pray for some very dear friends (let’s be honest, they are our family). They are grafted in our tree. Because our tree is the Tree of Life, Christ. We pray for other friends, teachers, and things that come up.

Prayer is changing my heart. It’s giving me a sense of direction. Do I still struggle? Yes everyday, every hour and even sometimes minute to minute. I’m going through something very hard and personal right now.

But in the morning I seek his face through my prayers and my words. During the day I find myself praying more and more. Lifting things to my Saviour  and Friend, Jesus. At night I get to pray with said sister. Those prayers... well I’m reminded of these scriptures;

Psalm 56:8-11

8 You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You,
Then my enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word),
In the Lord (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust;
I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

*New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

I’ve been working on this picture. Oh I know it’s not perfect but it is mine.

Pray for me. If you need prayer message me. I’m willing to pray for you. God Bless And Keep You Today.  Much Love
~ Dawn

Chugwater ~

Family Adventure ~

Finally on our way. Heading through Wyoming. We stop in Chugwater. Chugwater is famous for their chili. But since we started so late we are going to eat breakfast/lunch. Stop at The Chugwater Soda Fountain. It’s in the heart of this small town. We have never been through here only the outskirts of town.

At the rest stop the kids found some Casper Rocks. For those of you not familiar with them they were originally a way to spread kindness. Leaving an inspirational message and if you find one take a picture and rehide it. By the way this rest stop is one of the nicest ones I’ve ever been to. 

I ordered ham and cheese, the kids ordered grilled cheese and Tay had breakfast smothered burrito with chili. I actually tried the chili it was tasty. We ordered the shakes. Wow so good! This was a fun stop over. Here are some of the pictures from our stop in Chugwater, Wyoming. 

It’s early and we get in and head out. Lots of open road to travel through today. Because we are behind I google to find the fastest route and it changes our original route. Now we are headed through Nebraska ... 

Let God direct your steps. 

Proverbs 16:9 

A man’s heart plans his way, 

But the Lord directs his steps.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

My Bags Are Packed

The next stage of our Family Adventure was waiting on certain things to fall into place. Number one was A ~ A car, B ~ A great price for a rental or C ~ A loaner car..

We had looked and looked, prayed and prayed, found several and they all fell through. About 2 weeks before we were to go.. my friends found a minivan that exceeded all we thought.

Bought the minivan. The kids are loving it. It’s got a DVD player, it’s got leather seats, it’s nice. Plenty of room. The ideal traveling vehicle.

Let me tell you, I believe in the power of Prayer. We had several friends pray. We had a few doubters who questioned if we should travel. But at the end of the day my (our) God provided. One more thing to check off our list.

Matthew 10:29 - 31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

A, B, or C

The next stage of our Family Adventure was waiting on certain things to fall into place. Number one was A ~ A car, B ~ A great price for a rental or C ~ A loaner car..

We had looked and looked, prayed and prayed, found several and they all fell through. About 2 weeks before we were to go.. my friends found a minivan that exceeded all we thought.

Bought the minivan. The kids are loving it. It’s got a DVD player, it’s got leather seats, it’s nice. Plenty of room. The ideal traveling vehicle.

Let me tell you, I believe in the power of Prayer. We had several friends pray. We had a few doubters who questioned if we should travel. But at the end of the day my (our) God provided. One more thing to check off our list.

Matthew 10:29 - 31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Scripture is taken from the New King James Version Copyright @ 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Pre-planning

Pre-Planning of our Family Adventure ~

Awhile back I met an amazing family on Facebook. My grands and I have been so blessed by them. We began talking about going to travel to see them.

So we started saving, and talking it up. Doing morning selfies to send and a calendar once we hit about a month out. The calendar was a very visual reminder that we were leaving. Also since my grandson is autistic we wanted to help him.

This was to be the farthest they have ever been from home and traveling by car or rather minivan. So we started planning. And list making and more list making. The kids tried to pack so many things. I think we packed and repacked to many times.

Can I just tell you how much God is the God of miracles? Well he is. He sees and knows what you need and don’t need.

1 Peter 3:12
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

I love that he is open to our prayers.

That Day

It's been more than a few months since "that day". You know the day when I finally had enough. The day I said I will no longer let you control my life again. The day I said just because we have the same parents doesn't mean my life is like yours. That day I finally said...enough is enough.

That day started out like any other. I've relived that day many times. As a child I was to timid, to concerned to rock the boat. I was to worried that I was being mean. I had fear. Fear that you (none of you) would love me. I was the good girl. That good girl who didn't want to disappoint any of you.

So I took the abuses you heaped on me. I lived with a cloud over every part of me. I didn't know who I was. I was so warped that I didn't know I could be someone. I was wounded. I was the abused dog who didn't think that anyone approaching was going to be nice. In fact I knew it would be another kick or another hit.

I vowed that my kids would never know that fear, or that sense of not being loved or belonging. I vowed that I would let them say they didn't like someone. I vowed that they could be strong. Stronger than me. I frequently spent hours, days, weeks, and years figuring things to do for you all so you would finally love me. To accept me.

I tried helping you and your children. I gave up my life to take in some of your kids. That was over 20 years ago. No I don't regret it. You know I understood what not feeling love was about. Because of that I couldn't allow these kids that feeling. I've had to cut some out of my life. And you know what? I'm okay with it.

I finally said enough is enough and I walked away from all of it. Even though I had walked away many times, I always left the door open a crack, I always anticipated that you would come thru the door because we shared a history. I thought one day they will say they miss me. But you didn't.

So the last straw came. I closed the door. My own daughters asked me if I would let you in. They said you can't keep it shut because your not ready. You will miss them, it will be hard because you played a role in their lives for a very long time. They were almost right.

I talked myself in to the maybe ..however I didn't do it. I shut the door. I locked it. I said it's time. There is nothing wrong with taking care of you. And there isn't. I hear the lies and I see the carnage of what your life is. I'm not going to be a part of that anymore. I won't let you wear me down. I refuse to allow the darkness of your lives to burn out the light that is who I am.

I haven't looked back and I haven't allowed the hurt to overtake me again. I'm ok. I really am ok. I'm free to be me. Free to be who I am meant to be and I don't have to feel shame or sorrow about that. There is power in being able to shut a door and open a window. There is freedom to be able to know that it's ok. That I'm not wrong to do that now.

Yep I see the train wreck and I'm at the sign watching and waiting for the safety of the poles to lift and the lights to stop flashing allowing me to continue on in my journey. My joy comes in the morning. My life is so complete in the one who created me. I have a life that is free from the drama of my past.

Step back

Sometimes it’s perfectly okay to be alone and step back. Do you ever feel like your falling downhill fast? Like life is spinning out of control? I do. I tend to withdraw when things get tough. I tend to desire to walk away from things.

Walking away from life though is not the same as stepping back and waiting on the Lord. It’s not the same when we chose to close ourselves off in order to stop the pain. Walking away implies a turning around and going the opposite direction.

Have you ever started on a walk and it seemed pretty and beautiful and amazing, yet when you walked farther all of the sudden the place changed. Maybe you think the grass is greener? Or that you need to walk this path alone? Perhaps it’s not the walk that changed. Perhaps it’s you.

Stepping back sometimes gives you fresh perspective. Gives you a chance to regroup and line up your life again. To move forward with confidence that your hope does lie in Christ and in Him you have peace. It reminds you of where you came from, and where your going.

When you step back though, don’t forget whom you serve. Don’t forget that the journey doesn’t stall. That He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through Him.

He Has Your Heart

Another quiet day. Grands are gone visiting and I’m here alone with my thoughts. Grateful they have this time to see another aunt and connect, but I miss them. It reminds me to pray. Not just say I will but pray.

You know I think about them all the time. From what I know about God he thinks about his redeemed all the time too. He desires to see us and spend time with us.

When we are off “visiting” he gently calls us back to himself. Saying I’m here, I’m waiting. He is there. He hears you. He longs for you to come to him. I took a trip up our local mountain the other day. I needed to look for a rock.. (that’s a different story).

While on the mountain I was looking back. Looking at how I’ve coped in the past ever since I can remember as a child and most of my adult life I’ve avoided and/or run from life. As a child I can pinpoint the days I learned to read and then escaping into a book to deal with pain.

The sadness and never feeling loved by my family.. well it chased me into hiding in books and sometimes humor to cope. You know if I’m not dealing with it, I’m not thinking about it. So I am a runner (not physically but emotionally). I run when I can’t deal or don’t understand. Are you?

Good news is that we don’t have to run anymore. We can run into his arms and away from the pain of our past. We can stop avoiding and have eye contact. Eye contact with the one who cares for our very soul.

I don’t know about you but I want to stop and move forward not be stuck in this pain and heartache. My heart is starting to heal. God is the only reason why I have hope at all. The mountains (also another story), hold good and bad in my mind and heart. Yesterday they brought me to this place. A place of Love and understanding.

No I can’t say I will never go back. But I do know I need to move forward in healing my broken heart, in my faulty thinking and I need to learn different and better ways to cope.. so here’s to a new day and a new way and The Way!

Broken Hearted

My heart is broken today. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. It should’ve been a beautiful thing filled with blessings and good memories. It should have been tears of joy. Instead it’s broken hearts, and brokenness and finding your way to the only one I know that can heal brokenness.

We can’t go back and change this. Just as a child I can’t change what happened to me, I can only seek healing and peace in the midst of this all. I can pray, yes prayer .. seeking God’s face and looking to him.

So many do not see value in their life. I’m guilty of this. I see so much pain and sorrow and I get sidetracked with the pain that seeks to keep me in this place. We live daily with this brokenness.

Your word says you heal the broken hearted. You bind up their wounds. Lord today I’m broken hearted and Lord the wounds are deep. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I’m on the verge of losing it.

I can’t change this though. I can only breathe and trust you to move me forward and to find your peace when I can’t be at peace. Lord I need you. I need you every hour. I need your healing waters to flood my soul. To keep me from being thrown about.

Yes though I walk through the shadow of death... your the one who walks with me. Keeping me. Drawing me to you. Reminding me of you. Of your gentleness and peace. Of your heart. Of the scriptures I know. Of your word memorized.

Lord - I want to be in your arms. I want your peace. Lord I need your comfort in this storm. Help me to rely on you. Remind me of your gentleness and of the Hope that lies within me because I believe.

Oh Lord You’re Beautiful
By Keith Green
Oh Lord, you're beautiful,
Your face is all I see,
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me

Oh Lord, you're beautiful,
Your face is all I see,
For when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me

I want to take your word and shine it all around
But first help me to just, live it Lord
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown
For my reward is giving glory to you

Oh Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clean
Replace the lamp of my first love
That burns with holy fear

I want to take your word and shine it all around
But first help me to just, live it Lord
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown
For my reward is giving glory to you

Oh Lord, you're beautiful
Your face is all I see
For when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me

Oh Lord, you're beautiful
Your face is all I see
For when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me.

Providence

Providence - divine guidance or care,
God conceived as the power sustaining and guiding human destiny

Oh that I might be guided by God in my daily walk and decisions. To search for Him and find Him. To know that He is leading me. To understand this Psalm. What a beautiful thing.

The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. Surely it’s not wrong to want? No it’s not wrong but this to me speaks of need. Meaning He is a good Shepherd and takes care of His sheep. Me. He takes care of me. He meets my needs. Even the ones I don’t know I have. Like a Shepherd he provides and keeps me from the things of the world. But I must listen to and for His voice.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. I think back and I see where I needed to rest in him. In the green of growth and miracles of life. He leads me to still waters where my calm is in Him. Where all the wind and waves don’t move but the stillness of seeking Christ. Yes!

He restores my soul. He comes to me in restoration waiting for me to listen. Waiting for me to say Lord here am I. He restores my soul in the dark. Like our skin rejuvenates he does this for my soul. Peeling away death and showing me his life. He leads me in the path of righteousness for His names sake. You see if I don’t listen the path is much different and filled with peril.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - as a believer deaths shadow seeks us. It’s the enemy who comes to seek and devour our life in Christ. He seeks to still our joy. Lord I will fear no evil. No weapon that comes against me when I’m living for you will win. But I have to be in His word, walking and talking and living in Him. You are with me Lord, your rod and staff comfort me. Your build a hedge around your creation. Providence, Lord. Guiding me and keeping me.

You prepare a table before me in front of my enemies. Lord, they see me and Think I’m a fool. One that trusts in the wrong thing but God you prepare a table where I have Hope and Joy. Where my enemies don’t understand this table set before me. You anoint my head with providence. You guide me in the way I should go. My cup runs over with the knowledge and heart understanding of how you bless me and keep me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. I get so caught up in the worlds troubles but Lord if I’m listening it’s right before me and behind me. The fact that Lord your mercy follows me knowing I’m going to need it. I’m going to need you. Salt and pepper Lord, salt and pepper. And Lord I will dwell in the house of The Lord forever. This is my heart cry. To dwell with you - providence.

Today, right now Lord I need providence. In the big and small decisions. Father I need you. I need to walk through the shadows of death. The depth of sorrow. To see you are taking care of me. Selah - Think on these things!

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

He Leadeth Me
He leadeth me: O blessed thought!
O words with heavenly comfort fraught!
Whate'er I do, where'er I be,
still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, he leadeth me;
by his own hand he leadeth me:
his faithful follower I would be,
for by his hand he leadeth me.

Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,
sometimes where Eden's flowers bloom,
by waters calm, o'er troubled sea,
still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, he leadeth me;
by his own hand he leadeth me:
his faithful follower I would be,
for by his hand he leadeth me.

Lord, I would clasp thy hand in mine,
nor ever murmur nor repine;
content, whatever lot I see,
since 'tis my God that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, he leadeth me;
by his own hand he leadeth me:
his faithful follower I would be,
for by his hand he leadeth me.

And when my task on earth is done,
when, by thy grace, the victory's won,
e'en death's cold wave I will not flee,
since God through Jordan leadeth me.

He leadeth me, he leadeth me;
by his own hand he leadeth me:
his faithful follower I would be,
for by his hand he leadeth me.

Be led today. Listen to the still small voice the says let me by divine providence lead you!

Romans 15:13

It’s dark outside and I’m sitting in the dark thinking about my day. It is sometimes a crazy life isn’t it? Things don’t always go the way you think they will. Things happen and you have to stand your ground or give up.

Tonight I’ve wrestled with areas I’d like to give up on. Things I want to close and not open because they bring me sorrow and such sadness. Things that I sometimes wish were still stuck in a closet.

Other things remind me of why I have hope. How my grands laugh and love. How they get so excited to see me and listen to my stories. How I can pretend to tickle them and their eyes are wide with excitement.

Tonight though I’m stuck in a deep mode of thoughts. Wondering why things happened and if they will turn around. If somehow the hard things have a true purpose of bringing me closer to Jesus.

I think I’ll sit here for a bit. Praying, thinking and listening to his voice in my dark. Asking him to meet me here now. To shed light there. To bring me back to where I see and hear his voice amongst the dark that sometimes seeks to devour the hope.

 Romans 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Press on

“Every journey of a thousand miles  starts with a single step” 

I was thinking about this, this morning. If I had to map the amount of steps I’ve taken I couldn’t. If I had to tell you how many times I had to restart or take a redo I also couldn’t do that. But what I can do is keep moving forward. Pressing on towards my ultimate goal, a life completely surrendered to Christ.

Philippians 3:14 

I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 

I press ~ 

Press is defined as 

to move by means of pressure, to lay stress or emphasis on, to insist on or request urgently, 

to follow through ... 

Toward ~  

Toward is defined as, 

in the direction of...

The Goal ~

Goal is defined as 

the end toward which effort is directed

For the Prize ~

Prize is defined as ...

something exceptionally desirable

Of the Upward Call ~

Upward is defined as ..

directed toward or situated in a higher place or level, toward the source

Call is defined as ...

to command or request to come or be present

Moving forward is what we are called to do. Don’t get me wrong sometimes I feel I’m being dragged forward other days I’m up and saying walk with me Lord, get me to my next destination.. the next place, the next lesson.

There are days I don’t want to go. I buck it every possible way. I say but Lord why me? Why now? Yet as a Christian I’m called to press on no matter if it’s easy or hard. Press on. Keep moving. One step at a time or hitting the ground running. 

Pressing on - following thru. Moving forward with purpose. What’s your purpose? Do you find yourself stuck? Do you desire a closer walk? Then we must press on towards the ultimate goal of heaven. The prize will be worth it. Maybe we won’t see the prize here. But I believe we see pieces of it. We see Christ when we search for him.

Where do you see evidence of your race? Where do you see Christ? Where is your evidence? I can tell you that my worst days having hope are better then days with none. Listen, open your head, and heart to him. 

And press on towards the goal of Christ! 

Off the Bed

I had the distinct pleasure of being forced off my bed this morning. No it wasn’t meant it just happened. Sometimes when the grands come to my room I end up closer and closer to the edge until finally I have no space so it’s better for me to get up.

As I sit in the front room I’m thinking about that and my walk with Christ. When I was first saved my bed (my life was so full) of things. Some I put away quickly, some much slower and others are still on that bed with me.

Now in my walk I need to be careful not to clutter it with things or people. It seems small in the beginning you know? Like oh I can just add this and it won’t take from my walk. Or I can do this just a little. Problem is that little pushes Christ off the bed so to speak. It fills your bed and you have no room for Christ to dwell. No room in your heart to open it for him.

Other times we fill our hearts and heads with things that are fluff and we fail to seek Christ to give us the meat of his word. We chose things over Him. Soon enough we have to move because there is so much clutter we can’t see the simplicity of His message and our walk with Him.

When my daughters were younger I owned a big waterbed. I loved that bed. It was comfortable and laying in it I was often lulled to sleep by the movement of the bed. But there were nights I would start alone only to feel a small child in my bed. It started with one.

One child is almost always enough though because they seem to want to sleep up against your back leaving you clinging to the edge of the bed so as not to wake them. If you move you risk the proverbial questions and movement that makes you feel like you have even less room.

Pretty soon child number two would find their way to me bed and well they would eventually end up next to each other and you would still be hanging on hoping to not fall off the bed. Then came daughter number three and four..

By this time my bed resembled a mine field of love. Don’t get me wrong I have such great memories of them in my bed just wanting to be with mom. By the end of the night and as morning would start to come, the light breaking thru the window I would have all six girls in bed with me.

My legs stiff from lack of room, my back needing to be stretched I would first place one leg over the edge of the bed carefully so as not to wake anyone. Slowly pushing myself up to sitting and then getting off my bed. Once I stood I’d look at the bed full of my life.

Now the time has only changed because they are grands and not daughters. But I still have to edge myself off. I look at them, I pray for them and I hope for them. My bed is full. Some good and some not. I must be careful to not let things fill my bed and thoughts. I must pray for the things (people) who often occupy my space.

My life should reflect Christ. Does it? Am I so preoccupied with things that my life is not in living but in death? Is my life so cluttered that I can’t see the simplicity of my walk with Christ? Where am I? Am I searching and praying or am I stuck? Stuck in bed with all my clutter? The Bible says we are set free.

Today as I move to standing and praying I am set free. Free to Love Christ and free to be who he is calling me to be.

The Lord’s Prayer

The girls have come to my bed to cuddle and love on grandma. I look at them and see in them my own face with my Grandma Dena when I would get to spend the night with her.

Crawling in her bed and lying snuggled next to her back. Her praying with me The Lord’s Prayer...

Matthew 6:9-13
Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come. Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be the name. (My father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name) Holy, Holy, Holy - sacred is his name. My Father who lives in Heaven.. one day I will see him face to face. My father. Oh my father. A father who hears my cries and longings. Who gives me peace when the world comes crashing down. When the sea feels like I will be swallowed whole.. yes My Father

Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. His kingdom is coming. This place is not my home. I’m passing thru. But yet I call out for his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. My heart cries for his will in my life. The direction to go. Whether to the left or right. Moving forward or waiting. Lord help me to seek your will. Help me to snuggle and listen to your breathing. Yo know with you it is well with my soul.

Give us this day our daily bread. Lord you always provide. I have never gone to bed without the things my children needed. Lord please do the same for my grands. Let them always know you know the amount of hairs on their heads. Remind them when things look tough that you are there. You see and hear them. You got them if they will look to you.

And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. How many times do I shake my fists at those who have wronged me. Those who I feel owe me? Yes your word says to forgive them. While I believe it doesn’t mean you forget you forgive them. My grandma would tell me she loved me as we would drift off to sleep. I asked her about this before. She would tell me honey we must err on the side of good. Do not cause strife but forgiveness frees you from the evil. Maybe this is what is meant?

And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. Lord guard my mouth and heart. Father be with my grands. Lead them away from the things of the world that could and would destroy them. Deliver us from the evil that surrounds them. Guide them to you. The light. Father when they come and want to talk about life. Father guide my mouth to nudge them towards you. For you are able.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Yes Lord yours is the kingdom and power forever. You Lord hold the power to life. Remind me when I’m tired or want to be alone that the grands need me. Need me to be there. To show you to them. To give them you in all things. To point them to the one True King and kingdom.

Onward Christian Soldier

Onward Christian soldiers!
  Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus
  Going on before.
Christ, the royal Master,
  Leads against the foe;
Forward into battle,
  See, His banners go!
  Onward, Christian soldiers!
  Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus,
    Going on before.

At the name of Jesus
  Satan’s host doth flee;
On then, Christian soldiers,
  On to victory!
Hell’s foundations quiver
  At the shout of praise:
Brothers, lift your voices,
  Loud your anthems raise!

Like a mighty army
  Moves the Church of God:
Brothers, we are treading
  Where the saints have trod;
We are not divided,
  All one Body we—
One in faith and Spirit,
  One eternally.

Crowns and thrones may perish,
  Kingdoms rise and wane;
But the Church of Jesus
  Constant will remain.
Gates of hell can never
  ’Gainst the Church prevail;
We have Christ’s own promise,
  Which can never fail.

Onward, then, ye people!
  Join our happy throng;
Blend with ours your voices
  In the triumph song.
Glory, laud and honor
  Unto Christ, the King;
This through countless ages
  Men and angels sing.

On Christ the Solid Rock

There is a verse I think about when things just seem harder to me....

Psalm 20:7
Some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.

It can be so easy to trust in things that you can see, or hear or feel. Cars break down, people can be fickle. Life can be hard. There may be days you experience hunger and I’m not just talking physical hunger.

We hunger for acceptance, we can hunger for love from our earthly families, we can hunger for those who are no longer here. We can hunger to have a better life or more success. Yet when we don’t put our hunger in Christ, we trust in things that are temporary not eternal.

I want my trust to be in Christ, the author and finisher of my faith. I want to be so much into Christ that, that’s the first thing people know about me. That it is the single most important part of who I am. It’s me. It’s where my life comes and goes back to.

When things are hard, I want to be known as someone who relies on Christ. I want my grandchildren to know in whom I trust for everything big and small. I want to call upon Christ everyday, every minute, in hard and easy times. My desire is to pass in that trust to my grandchildren so they can stand in Christ.

I want to lean on Christ to keep me in check, and to be led by the prompting of his name. To trust in plan even when others tell me not to. Trust is a hard thing to learn. For those of us who have been abused and left to fend for ourselves. And yet ... trusting in Christ is the best thing I’ve ever done. My hope is built on nothing less .. I will trust in Christ, do you, will you?

On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus Christ, my righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
 
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

2
When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

3
His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

4
When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
In Him, my righteousness, alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

I Surrender All

I thought last night about a song that holds so much meaning to me. Do you remember hearing about Christ for the first time? I do. When I was a little girl my parents would drop my siblings and I at the Lutheran Church and I loved hearing about Jesus.

Now my siblings would go across the street to the park but I on the other hand was drawn in to the church. I loved the smell. The feeling like I belonged. I loved the pews and the hymns. Oh the hymns. They spoke to my soul.

I loved Sunday School. Hearing the stories in the Bible gave me hope. They awakened things in me. I realized there was God, and he was alive. He sent his son to die for me. While I didn’t get the salvation message I got the message, the memo that there was someone out there who loved me more then I could ever love.

When I was a little older I changed to a church that had a bus ministry. Does anyone do that anymore? That bus driver he was a great guy. And I loved going to that church. The people were nice. They cared. In 6th grade I wrote a play that my Sunday School class performed.

While I still hadn’t accepted Christ.. I knew I needed to. In 9th grade (43 years ago) .. my best friend at the time and I went to a revival service. We were joking about going forward. I was being pulled, so was she.. we opted to go forward together.

As the altar call was given, all the stories I’d heard, the hymns I’d sang, the desires I’d had of being and wanting to know Christ came flooding out. I think even if my friend hadn’t gone forward I believe Christ in a tender voice was calling me.

The hymn that was playing in the background well one of them... drew me into accepting Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. It gave me hope that I would go to Heaven someday.

Yesterday my niece invited me to listen to a church service. They sang that song. A few times. As I listened, the tears welled up in me and started to fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. It brought me back to those tender memories of learning of Christ.

And the floodgates of hymns no longer sang in church. Of times where I felt called to come and pray. Of worshippers connected in singing praise to Jesus. Oh the memories they flood my soul. They bring me back to him. To the when I first understood the Cross.

This song.. it reminds me..it calls me back to Christ. It brings me to church and to the altar. The altar where I asked Christ to come in my heart. Where I understood the message of John 3:16 God so Loved the world he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes on him will not perish but have everlasting life.

1 All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

2 All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel Thy Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

I surrender all, I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

3 All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power,
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

I surrender all, I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

Yesterday I was talking with a beautiful friend who has become family to me. My grands just love their family. Honestly I’m so blessed by them. I can’t ever express how deeply it has touched me to be a part of them.

When my grands wake up they search for me. I was up but laying in bed and my Wren cane in to lay with me. Now I know this is silly but they love to send a morning selfie. So here we are and she’s taking selfies. Then she asks her future traveling buddy to call her. This isn’t unusual as they love talking to them. I’m very grateful they take time to do this.

Z comes in and wants to talk to his buddy. I love that William does this for my grandson. He loves him and listens to him. Sometimes that isn’t easy. But they were talking and Wren wanted to talk, so Z pinched her very hard.

All of the sudden William is looking at Z. Who knows what he did was wrong. Z begins to hide his face and cry. It took only a stern look. It occurred to me this is like the Father.

Now I didn’t grow up with a father who loved me. His way of correction was not a look. It was physically abusive. It always crossed a line. As a direct result of that, I admit I’ve struggled with God as my Father.

I’ve tried to earn his approval, I’ve tried to work for his love. But you see that’s not what it’s about. Its about knowing the difference between right and wrong, not hiding from Him, but crying out to Him when you have blown it. Seeking repentance and being open to correction.

What an analogy. We need not try to hide from the Father, but yes cry out to him and say I’m sorry, meaning it. He loves you. He loves me. He desires us to walk with Him. He wants us to not do the wrong and cry later. He wants us to seek him and listen. When we do wrong He wants us to come to Him. He knows our heart. That look is not only when we do something we shouldn’t, it’s also when we question what He tells us to do.

Don’t let one More Day go by without seeking Christ. Not one more. One of my favorite scriptures is Revelations 3:20 - Behold I stand at the door and knock, if any man opens the door I’ll sup (fellowship) with him and He with me. Today don’t hide from the Father. Cry out and seek him. Come with repentance and an open heart to hear.

My friends.. be blessed you are children of the most high. Your blessed and highly favored. Seek Him.

I’m awakened by the sound of the birds chirping outside. The shrill voice of the crow is loud and obnoxious. He is not going to be ignored. I hear the other birds with their sing song and it’s beautiful. Isn’t this like the world? When life is going on we often hear the voice that squawks the loudest. 

While I know the other birds make beautiful music sometimes I only hear the crow. The world telling me I’m not good enough. Do this, go here. Follow me because you hear me. It’s not a sound I want to admit I hear. Why? Because when we listen to the world we listen to things that take us away from Christ. 

Last night my autistic grandson could only see and hear the sound of something that bothered him. So he didn’t want to close his eyes. The fear kept him upset. Yet he knew that Christ hears him. He realized that he needed to hear the voice of the one who loved him most.

After praying with him he was still unable to fall asleep. So we asked a friend and her husband to pray with him too. He was able to verbalize some of the things bothering him and together we agreed and prayed for his mind to find comfort in the Lord. 

He needed to hear the sound of the songbird not of the crow. He needed to be reminded that Jesus, the lover of his soul loves him more then anything and that he just needed to still his little heart and listen.  

Today who will you hear? Today let your mind listen to the melody of Christ. Let his music pull you closer. Stop allowing the crow to mask the sweet sound of God in your heart. Listen for the birds of Christ’s words. Verses you know or have memorized. The still small voice that says I’m here. Who will you chose?

There’s within my heart a melody

Jesus whispers sweet and low,

Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,

In all of life’s ebb and flow.

Refrain:

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,

Sweetest Name I know,

Fills my every longing,

Keeps me singing as I go.

All my life was wrecked by sin and strife,

Discord filled my heart with pain,

Jesus swept across the broken strings,

Stirred the slumb’ring chords again.

Feasting on the riches of His grace,

Resting ’neath His shelt’ring wing,

Always looking on His smiling face,

That is why I shout and sing.

Though sometimes He leads through waters deep,

Trials fall across the way,

Though sometimes the path seems rough and steep,

See His footprints all the way.

Soon He’s coming back to welcome me,

Far beyond the starry sky;

I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown,

I shall reign with Him on high

Tug Of Life

I’ve been up for a bit. My heart hearing the tug of life and being pulled in so many different directions. Everyday there are so many things that need done or I think need to happen. 

I hear the soft tick of a clock. It’s comforting to know that time doesn’t stand still, although I can think of times I wish it had. With every minute, every hour, everyday .. well you get the idea. 

Yet as I sit in my chair and I think over my life, I see things I could’ve done better or been better. Shall I sit and dwell on that? NO! It’s okay to think about the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s but it’s a step forward to know you move on. 

The sun has come up, a new day is here. What do I want today? World peace? Yes. Better relationships? Yes. More time? Yes. More resources? Yes. A better life? Yes. But I want more then that. I desire a closer walk with Christ. I want to walk with Him. I want to search for Him and find him in the mundane days of life. 

 I want to be like Christ. To live and breath a walk in Him. I want to know Him so well that what comes from my mouth is not just empty words that are fluff. But I want my words to reflect who He is and who I am because of that. 

“Just A Closer Walk With Thee"

I am weak but thou art strong

Jesus, keep me from all wrong

I'll be satisfied as long

As I walk, let me walk close to Thee

Just a closer walk with thee

Grant it, Jesus, is my plea

Daily walking close to thee

Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

When my feeble life is o'er

Time for me shall be no more

Guide me gently, safely o'er

To thy kingdom's shore, to thy shore

When life's sun sinks in the west

Lord, may I have done my best

May I find sweet peace and rest

In that happy home of the blessed

Just a closer walk with thee

Grant it, Jesus, is my plea

Daily walking close to thee

Let it be, dear Lord, let it be

Everlasting

Everlasting. That's a great word. Everlasting. Everlasting. Everlasting.

It means ~ lasting forever, lasting or enduring through all time, eternal, continuing for a long time or indefinitely, tediously persistent, wearing indefinitely, ceaseless, dateless, deathless, endless, eternal, immortal, permanent, perpetual, undying, unending, and infinity.

In my life I know of only one thing I want to remain everlasting. That's my relationship with Jesus. Things happen, relationships fail, memories become clouded but He alone is everlasting. Everlasting, his Love is everlasting. His peace is everlasting.

The older I get it seems the more I reflect on my life. I am reminded of all my failures. I look back and pray the mistakes I've made will be steps to remind others of the Hope I have in Christ. The Everlasting, Hope in a real God. The ladder of my life has many rungs, but the one that means the most to me is dated in 1976.

It was in 1976 at a church revival that I heard a voice prompting me to accept and let Christ in. Oh man have I blown it. So many times. But Christ has Never Blown It. He is the one constant in my life. Though my mother and father forsake me, Christ did not.

He helped when I fell with skinned knees, and tears that didn't stop. Through a rough childhood, and a hard life. He alone continued to show me his everlasting Love. A Love that I have never felt anywhere else. One that is not based on feelings but also facts.

Tonight I'm blessed from everlasting to everlasting. Tonight I see the the life I've lived and I sense the deep, compelling Love of my Father, God. I sense the fulfillment of his peace. Does this mean there will be no problems in my life? No it just means I'm in a place of total surrender. I've raised my arms and I allow Christ to wash me white as snow. I say Dear Jesus, I'm here, I'm yours, use me, mold me, from here to there, from now to eternity.

Thank you Lord for the blessed life.

Love this song;
"From The Inside Out"

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Isaiah 40:28-31
28 Have you not known?
Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. 29 He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, 31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Do You Hear Me?

by DC 4/23/18

In the morning when I am alone and left thinking about my life, I see so many failures. So many sorrows. There are truly things I’ve done right, but oh so many I’ve done wrong. 

My heart longs for the only peace I’ve ever known. Please Lord watch out for my kids and grands. Let them not suffer the way I have. Bring them to you in spite of me. 

I search for you and your found when I call out for you. There you are in between the depths of despair and the valley of hurt. It’s where you met me the first time so many years ago. The place that gives me peace in spite of me.

Remind me to stay grounded in you. To keep my eyes on you. To see you as The Way not in the way. Father sometimes I’m just any good at handling my life. I make mistakes and I fall. But Lord I want to fall into your arms. 

The only peace comes when I submit to your ways and acknowledge that your my reason to live. You Lord saved me not only from my past but from my own desires to self destruct. You know the wire that needs to be cut so the bomb doesn’t activate. 

Living with sorrow and coping bring me to my knees in surrender to you. Often times I search for you in the pain and you are there. You see me and wait for me to call out your name. Lord there is none like you. Keep me close and guard my mind. 

New Family Member ~ Ruth!

My Newest Family Member! 

Well I went and did it. I bought a bird. Now I don't know why nor do I have any idea about what all it will mean for my life now, but I did do it. 

This is a huge step for me. You see I don't care for animals. Maybe that's mean or maybe you will not want to read anymore but truth be told I really don't care for them. They are dirty, smelly, and die.

I believe this comes from my childhood. We always had animals I think. But the ones we had I watched get hurt, or die. Not necessarily from natural causes. So there you have it. I do not care for animals.

Now when I started thinking about my life and something I did not instill in my children was a love for animals. You see I didn't not do it I just said nothing. Of course we have had a few animals. Rabbits, cats, and even a wonderful dog named Buddy. Who by the way I loved but didn't care for. I know that sounds odd.

When I was a kid I had a bunny named Bugs. I loved that bunny. I cared for that bunny. I loved feeding it carrots and petting her. One day when I came home from school, during a very hard time in my family life my rabbit was dead. I think it closed a part of me off. I decided then and there that I would not allow myself to get close to an animal ever again. And I have not. 

My life is like that. I close myself off from the pain. It's easier then letting it take hold of me or letting it get to me. I believe in my heart that my father killed that bunny. That is perhaps why I closed the door to pets. 

A few years ago I was thinking about getting fish, you know they just swim in a tank and don't talk and don't really open you up to any real communication at least I see it that way. But in the end I decided not to get them.