Another quiet day. Grands are gone visiting and I’m here alone with my thoughts. Grateful they have this time to see another aunt and connect, but I miss them. It reminds me to pray. Not just say I will but pray.
You know I think about them all the time. From what I know about God he thinks about his redeemed all the time too. He desires to see us and spend time with us.
When we are off “visiting” he gently calls us back to himself. Saying I’m here, I’m waiting. He is there. He hears you. He longs for you to come to him. I took a trip up our local mountain the other day. I needed to look for a rock.. (that’s a different story).
While on the mountain I was looking back. Looking at how I’ve coped in the past ever since I can remember as a child and most of my adult life I’ve avoided and/or run from life. As a child I can pinpoint the days I learned to read and then escaping into a book to deal with pain.
The sadness and never feeling loved by my family.. well it chased me into hiding in books and sometimes humor to cope. You know if I’m not dealing with it, I’m not thinking about it. So I am a runner (not physically but emotionally). I run when I can’t deal or don’t understand. Are you?
Good news is that we don’t have to run anymore. We can run into his arms and away from the pain of our past. We can stop avoiding and have eye contact. Eye contact with the one who cares for our very soul.
I don’t know about you but I want to stop and move forward not be stuck in this pain and heartache. My heart is starting to heal. God is the only reason why I have hope at all. The mountains (also another story), hold good and bad in my mind and heart. Yesterday they brought me to this place. A place of Love and understanding.
No I can’t say I will never go back. But I do know I need to move forward in healing my broken heart, in my faulty thinking and I need to learn different and better ways to cope.. so here’s to a new day and a new way and The Way!
You know I think about them all the time. From what I know about God he thinks about his redeemed all the time too. He desires to see us and spend time with us.
When we are off “visiting” he gently calls us back to himself. Saying I’m here, I’m waiting. He is there. He hears you. He longs for you to come to him. I took a trip up our local mountain the other day. I needed to look for a rock.. (that’s a different story).
While on the mountain I was looking back. Looking at how I’ve coped in the past ever since I can remember as a child and most of my adult life I’ve avoided and/or run from life. As a child I can pinpoint the days I learned to read and then escaping into a book to deal with pain.
The sadness and never feeling loved by my family.. well it chased me into hiding in books and sometimes humor to cope. You know if I’m not dealing with it, I’m not thinking about it. So I am a runner (not physically but emotionally). I run when I can’t deal or don’t understand. Are you?
Good news is that we don’t have to run anymore. We can run into his arms and away from the pain of our past. We can stop avoiding and have eye contact. Eye contact with the one who cares for our very soul.
I don’t know about you but I want to stop and move forward not be stuck in this pain and heartache. My heart is starting to heal. God is the only reason why I have hope at all. The mountains (also another story), hold good and bad in my mind and heart. Yesterday they brought me to this place. A place of Love and understanding.
No I can’t say I will never go back. But I do know I need to move forward in healing my broken heart, in my faulty thinking and I need to learn different and better ways to cope.. so here’s to a new day and a new way and The Way!
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