Writing is Expressing The Words of the Heart

For as long as I can remember I have loved to read and loved to write. I had a lot of teachers who encouraged me to write. I honestly don't know if I was any good but it helped me to write about life. When I was younger I didn't write so much about my life but more about things. It kept it easy for me. I could hide behind the words and not let anyone see the way I was really hurting.

I like to look at writing like it is the words of the heart. As a child I enjoyed books to escape and writing was also a way of escaping. It was a thing I could make myself do. Leave my pain behind and write about stuff. I still have the first poem I ever wrote for my mother. I cherish it because of what it says, even though it really doesn't make much sense.

My parents had us go to church on Sundays. We went to a church that was right across from the park. I enjoyed going there. Maybe it was because I didn't feel small, or insignificant. Perhaps it was because I knew that it meant there was a God who loved me no matter what. My siblings didn't care for church much. But I didn't care. I loved the way Jesus told stories. Some how they meant so much to me. To know that he talked in parables. What a cool way to learn stuff. I also loved the Old Testament stories. David and Goliath, Ruth and Boaz, Queen Esther (For such a time as this), Joseph, Noah and the Ark with the promise of a rainbow. I loved to read the Psalms and the Proverbs. I still do. They are comforting. Help when you need it and acceptance from some one who paid it all.

When I was in grade school, my parents fought a lot. Well the truth is all of the time. I have very few memories of them not fighting. Some fights were physical, and some mental. But they all were painful. At some point we stopped going to the church that my parents took us to, and I met a man who was doing a bus ministry for a different kind of church. He would bring these books for me to read. They were kind of like a comic book but I liked them. My mom said that I could go if my father would let me. Well he did. I rode that bus every Sunday. I loved that place. The people there cared about me, about how I was, about the things that should matter to a kid. I felt accepted again. But never at home. Home was not really a home but a place I had to stay because I was a kid.

While going to this church, my school class was writing stories to act. It was really fun. One of my friends and I wrote stuff a lot. Our class wrote songs and plays, and we got to act them out. A highlight of my life as a child. I don't think I was much of an actress but I loved the written word. My Sunday School teacher found out I was working on stuff like that at school and she asked me if I wanted to try to write a play for our Sunday School class. I did. It was about The Great Physician. I still have a copy of that and it is one of my most treasured possessions. At church I was maybe who I could have been had I had a family that I felt loved in. Just like at school that acceptance from others was and is something that helped me to become who I am today. Just like the feelings of not belonging fuels who I have become.


Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher


Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.  - St. Francis of Assisi


We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how to respond to them.
- Epictetus 

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant 


Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.
- Brian Tracy